What is counseling all about?
Counseling is all about helping people change for the better. First step is understanding the unique person in front of me by asking the right questions, listening with attention to detail, and observing how they present themselves. Second step is understanding the issues that have sent them on a journey for help. Issues can be people, circumstances they are not at peace with, challenges within themselves, lack of objectivity to identify and prioritize factors in their world, or causes for their feelings. Third step represents pathways of hope that will lead them to deal with their world more effectively. Pathways to help them to know what and how to change. It provides accountability, encouragement and assessments, to measure growth. Finally, it is learning to become your own counselor, developing a protocol that at least begins the process of dealing with new issues as they arise.
The quality of your marriage influences every aspect of family life. Even when dealing with parenting issues the most powerful tool in your parenting toolbox is your living example. This is life changing for your children; they will be owned by it in many areas. I will help you work on the quality of your marriage, coach parents on how to guide and impact their children, and help individuals find freedom from their histories that work against a meaningful life.
The ‘golden apple’ of marriage is the sense that ‘I feel very cared for by my mate.’ Even they are not perfect, when your mate puts significant thought and action into making your life work, you believe in their commitment. The proof of this commitment is the sacrifices they make willingly leading to a quality relationship.
There is a direct correlation between the number of pre-marital sessions and the longevity of a marriage. Before marriage, couples don’t realize the quality of their relationship is built somewhat on artificial factors that will fade within two years of marriage. The couple that talked all the time, for hours- after two years of marriage are asking, ‘why don’t we talk anymore?’ Couples who live together before marriage are not exempt, they already have a 25% higher divorce rate, and can greatly benefit from 6 to 8 sessions before they officially tie the knot. There are definite keystone attitudes and behaviors that if mastered will begin their marriage relationship at a higher level. This is a great way for parents to invest in the longevity of their children’s marriage.
Parents have never before had to raise kids in a culture that has so many avenues to influence the values their child will embrace or reject. Literally billions of dollars are spent delivering the most high-tech driven messages to our children and those that teach or coach them. The only reason they would spend that much money is because they are going to get even more money in return. Big business must manipulate what your children love and hate so they will demand the products being sold. Our kids are being used, having their values reshaped so big business can prosper. Let me help you build character traits into the belief system of your children, figure out ways to reduce the level of effectiveness the culture has on them, and establish habits that strengthen your relational influence with your children.
Parents more and more are finding themselves at a loss of how to relate to their post high school children. Their experience gives them the ability to see their young adults racing toward a wall that is not going to have good outcomes! Yet there is a lack of opportunity and influence to get through the child’s ‘I’m good’ or ‘don’t bother me’ posture. Many times, you and your mate are not on the same page, you lack the clarity and objectivity a third party can give who is not emotionally involved. I will help you find an effective path to improving this dilemma.
I will help you identify and move beyond barriers that are keeping you from growing. We all get ‘stuck’ at times but often lack the objectivity to see our situation accurately or have the strategies necessary to change our futures into more meaningful lives. And not all pathways work for all people. I bring an ability to get to know you so I can help customize an approach that can be effective in your situation.
Marriage and Parenting Seminars and Retreats
I am available to speak Friday night through Saturday marriage seminars in churches and at retreat centers. I lead groups through an interactive experience of examining the biblical bases of marriage and it application in everyday life. The goal is to start the process of new behaviors and beginning habits that can build closeness and a new sense of feeling valued and cared for by your mate. Couples who are local are then encouraged to have three follow-up sessions with me to nurture and be accountable for the new changes.
I am available to speak Friday night through Saturday parenting seminars in churches, schools and retreat centers. The general seminar is for parents only and deals with the biblical bases and ‘how to’ for shaping the behaviors, attitudes and interests of your children. It includes the practices for making the home a secure place which is necessary for your children to live out the potential God has created within them. It also presents a recommended way to deal with the dominance of social media in their lives and the pathways to reducing its negative impact. In addition to the general seminar, I am available to speak at Saturday seminars for Father/Daughters to create a framework that enhances their relationship and guides it to focus on the keys for the healthy development of girls.